Migraines: Part II {and my weight}

Earlier today I had a follow-up appointment for these dreadful migraines I have been having.

After reviewing my scans and tests, the doctor seems rather certain that the migraines are a cause of a deep-rooted sinus infection. I got a shot in the arm and another round of medication to take for 10 days. Hopefully this round of medications don’t give me all the side effects that the last ones gave me.

Migraines + side effects = not a fun experience.

So now we are trying a different series of medications and hoping for the best. If the best doesn’t come, and the migraines aren’t minimized (eliminated would be even better), then it will be on to an ENT specialist for further testing and diagnosis. #sucks.

I am at the point where I DREAD going to work. Being on the phone and talking to customer just makes me sick. Work ends up being the longest and the worst part of my day. All 9.5 hours of it. I just want some relief.

On another, sort of related, note: my weight. Yup. I stepped on the scale at the doctors today and it tipped at 239. 239!  Wow. That is the highest I have ever weighed. I am not sure how I got here, and I am really not sure how to get back to where I came from. There is something really frightening about this but I need time to process that. 239 is a big number.

Migraines

It’s nearly 6am and I am wide awake. Alex left for work just a short time ago and now I have our queen size bed all to myself but my migraine is keeping me awake once again. I briefly mentioned my migraines last week.

I’m not sure if my hearing is heightened because of my migraine or if the silence of world at 6am allows me to hear everything. Perhaps both, but I’d much rather be sleeping and oblivious to what’s going on around me. I can hear the neighbors upstairs walking around, to the left I hear the news on their TV, and I am certain the neighbor across the courtyard is taking out the trash. Under normal circumstances I fall back to sleep after Alex leaves in the morning and right now I am wishing it was that easy with a migraine.

I missed a whole week of work last week because of this horrible migraine. If I wasn’t debilitated by the migraine itself, then it was all the side effects from the medications they gave me.

I went back to work yesterday out of sheer necessity to pay the bills, but by lunch time I wanted to hide under my desk with a blanket and sunglasses. I am on the phone with customers ALL.DAY.LONG! There is no escape, there is no reprieve, and I just want some relief. At the end of the day I shuffled my way home, changed into sweats, had a bowl of tomato soup, got an ice pack, and put myself to bed.

Yeah, these migraines are debilitating. I want to cry cry at least once a day. Today I have a follow-up appointment and I am not confident that there will be a resolution.

I’ll report back after today’s doctor appointment, and hopefully after a nap.

Be well, friends!

Drive-Thru’s

Let’s cut right to the chase, ok?

No matter what I pack in my over-sized lunch box to take to work.
No matter what kind of deals I make with myself about eating healthy.

I always find myself in the drive-thru of a fast food joint. Almost 5 days out of the week for at least one meal.

The day starts with the best (read: healthiest) of intentions, but then I have a rough morning at work, or a headache starts to creep in, or I am stress about some other situation. Next thing I know: it’s lunch time and I am in the car headed to McD’s or Wendy’s for a bacon cheeseburger, fries, and a large Coke.

It’s fairly safe to say that it has become a habit. One that only I know about, and now you do too. Also one that I am severely embarrassed by.

I used to scoff at the idea of eating fast food. The mere thought of dining at any fast food establishment (other than Chick-Fil-A) made me sick and I wouldn’t have any part in it.  The times have changed, and all my previous reservations have whittled away to distant memory. I don’t know what happened to that girl who used to turn her nose up at the mention of a drive-thru, but she’s been replaced by someone who craves a greasy burger and fries at the first sign of stress or trouble.

I couldn’t even tell you how much I weigh these days. I know I am not losing weight. The fit of my pants can tell me all I need to know. Even when I was at the doctor’s office on Monday, she asked if I knew my weight or if I wanted to get on the scale. To save myself the embarrassment and shock, I just threw out a number. 231. I know darn well that 231 is not an accurate number. If I was being a little more honest I should have said 241, but then again, I am sure that would have been a bit of an understatement.

When Alex and I moved in together, I never brought my scale with me. That was probably mistake number one. Mistake number two is definitely the lack of working out.

For right now, it’s safe to say that drive-thru’s are a primary factor. Even as I type this and say to myself, “no more deals, no more excuses” but then there is another voice yelling “just one more burger tomorrow and then we can get it right.”

DANGER, DANGER! The ugly voice in my head is alive and well. I am in a a lot of trouble.

Suffocating

It’s nearly the middle of November and the weather has finally started changing here in central Florida. The humidity was suffocating this year, and that really transitioned into my daily life. I have prayed for calmness, strength, and clarity. I’ve been absent in the blog and my healthy living. This is the first step back to both of those things.

At the end of September I had to say good-bye to my best friend, and beloved dog, Chloe. She was my whole world for 12 years and that horrible day still burns me up inside. I am still not sure how I get through each day without her sweet face, but he memory will hold an eternal place in my heart. She is forever loved and missed.

The first weekend of October was moving weekend for Alex and I. After three and half years we are finally living under one roof and it has been the best thing in the world. Creating our own home has been my greatest joy, especially after such sorrow. We’ve settled in quite nicely and I feel like this change has totally domesticated me. It’s had its challenges and stressed, but the comforts of a new home has been a true blessing.

Meanwhile, for the last month my dad has been in an out of the hospital. One kidney was removed, and then he developed an infection. Unfortunately, they never really resolved the infection and he recently had to go back into the hospital. We’ve been praying for his recovery and I am remaining hopeful that this medical emergency is behind us.

Oh, and speaking of medical emergencies. I had my own. For the last several weeks my migraines have been back with a vengeance. Alex and I spent four hours at the doctors yesterdays and I had a blood test followed by a CT scan. Despite no symptoms of sinuses, they found a major sinus blockage in my CT scan. I am now on a heavy dose of medication and I will be following up next week for further evaluations.

So, yeah, I have felt slightly suffocated in the last few months. Every day mother nature pushes the humidity of summer a little further out of the south, and so I take a deep breath and try to relax. It’s all in His hands.

 

A New Day In The Life

Since starting my new job back at the end of August, my relationship with my laptop (and blog) has been non-existent. I look at a computer all day, so looking at one when I get home at night it’s at the top of my to-do list. It’s been tough adapting to my new schedule and day-to-day life.

Here’s a look of a normal Monday-Friday:

4:30am – Alex wakes me up via text (if we aren’t spending the night at each others place)

5am – Alex is in my driveway

5:15am – Arrive at Alex’s work, kiss him goodbye, and I head back home.

5:30am – Back in my bed and turn my alarm on for 6:30am.

6:30am – Turn off alarm and peel myself out of bed.

6:40-7:15am – Getting ready for work and packing my lunch/snacks.

7:20am – Out the door and off to work.

7:45-8:00am – Arrive at work, stop at the bathroom, and settle in at my desk.

8am-12pm – Working

12-1pm – Lunch which includes driving 3 minutes down the road to pick up Alex, I eat in the car, he brings me back to work, and we talk about our morning.

1-5pm – Working again

5:00pm – Alex picks me up and we decide on dinner.

6:30-7pm – Dinner is done, cleaned up, and I am vegged out on the couch.

7-9pm – Doing my best to stay awake while watching TV.

9:15pm – Shower

9:30pm – In bed like the exhausted 29-year-old that I am!

 

Somewhere in the business of my day I know I still need to make myself a priority. It’s hard, but I haven’t given up yet.

#Reverb14: Transition

The times they are a changin’…

I am a bit late with this but here is August’s prompt:

Transition | Transition of seasons; from single to couple; from couple to parents; from one to many.  It’s that time of year when the high summer sun starts to sink and we all start to long for long sleeves.  How is your life changing.  How are YOU changing?

What a perfect prompt. I am, in fact, longing for long sleeves and the cooler weather that comes with fall. This year, however, is full of changes much larger than just my wardrobe and weather.

It’s been almost 5 weeks since I left my job at Target and today I start my 4th week with Ford Motor Company. I was a nervous wreck the night before starting at Ford. This change comes with a huge learning curve. A field of work outside of any knowledge or comfort, but one that has pleasantly surprised me thus far.

The transition has been rather seamless. I now have the joy of working a fairly normal Monday-Friday schedule and wearing regular clothing that is not uniform. It’s the little things that make me happy, and this job is making me happier than I’ve been in a long time. After all my years in retail I will finally enjoy the holiday with family this year and I might even go do a little shopping.

Yes, after all my years in retail I will go shopping. There might be a deal or two I need to snag… for my new place!

Yep! After over 3 years of dating Alex and I have finally signed a lease and will officially be moving in together on October 4th!

This year has been an important year for us. We’ve added depth, gone to new heights, and now we are taking the next step towards the rest of our lives. We know this will be a big transition for both of us but it’s all working out kind of perfectly. We are prepared. You could say that timing is spot on.

This year I have learned that sometimes change is for the better. I am happier than I have been in a long time. Everything is coming together and the future has a really prosperous outlook. I am excited, thrilled, and ready.

Alex likes to say that there has to be a lot of shit on the grass before it turns green. Thankfully all that shit has finally sunk in and now our grass is finally green! :)

A Little Off-Balance

It’s Sunday and nearly a week since I’ve written.

Let’s see.

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Wednesday was my last day at Target. I clocked out for the last time and it was like a weight had been lifted. That evening Alex and I went to a Japanese steakhouse to celebrate our new jobs (he started a new one earlier this summer).

Thursday morning I woke up feeling like I had the best nights sleep. I was so refreshed but as the day worn on I found myself feeling sick and stressed to the max. A combination of different stressors got to me and my emotions ran high. It was definitely not my best day.

More of the same continued on Friday, but Friday night couldn’t come soon enough. I gathered with many of my friends from Target for a night of fun. 40 of us filled the backroom of a local tavern and had the best time.

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After a few beers and a lot of laughs Alex and I hit the road. We spent the night in a hotel and made our way to Disney World late Saturday morning. We were on our way out of the park when we ran into my old friends (that are now married!) from my high school youth group. It was such a random moment, but it was SO nice to reconnect.

The combination of friends, a comfy hotel bed, and Disney magic was just what I needed to lift my spirits.

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Now it’s Sunday morning and I am filled with first day jitters in anticipation of tomorrow. I am scheduled 8-5 (that may be the longest orientation ever!), I don’t know what to wear, or even what to expect. I am ready for a new normal to being. I am ready to start a new routine and establish my habits.

I guess I can sum it up by saying I feel a little off-balance lately.

Here’s to a good first day, a better week, and the return of Pumpkin Spice at Starbucks! :)