For the last several weeks I have been overwhelmed by emotions and thoughts but have been unable to articulate what I am actually feeling.
Yesterday, during an important conversation with Alex, I found myself struggling to recall what I said just a few minutes prior — during the same conversation. It’s not the first time that something like that has happened. Conversations, details, and specifics feel like something that fades from my memory more quickly than they should. It scares the hell out of me and now I feel a new need to write.
I have this blank space here that is waiting for me to fill with words, thoughts, and stories. For my own sanity I need to take advantage of what I have created.
Feeling so forgetful is simply gut wrenching. I’ve always taken pride in what my mind is capable of doing, but now that feels like it is slipping away. It’s really been in the last few months that I have noticed the changes in my memory, but yesterday was the first time I broke down about it. I just started to cry because even in the moment of fear and realization, I still could not put into words what I was feeling.
Perhaps it is because I have not worked or had a daily routine for the last 2 months? Or the stress of all my medical happenings? Maybe it’s a lack of educational/creative stimulation?
At almost 30 years old I have never struggled with my words or my thoughts. Suddenly, it is a terrifying reality to face. This space, Sneakers and Sass, is more important than ever. I need to write.